Why cant I?
by krostovikraven1
Summary: Raven's actions and secret outings have caught Beast Boy's attention and sparked his curiosity but as he tries to find out what is she up to, he'll risk more than what he expected. Will he find out before is too late and be her hero?
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys, me again. So i wrote this a few months ago and left it pending because i was still in the early chapters of "Beast Boy's living past" and wanted to get at least close to the end to post this. It will be a short story, hopefully you guys like it._

_So, it'll start with Raven's POV, then BB's and me as I narrate what happens in between. Let me know what you think._

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><p><strong>Why cant I <strong>

Not a typical evening in Jump City. A couple of bank robberies and a jewelry store. Just humans. They pose no threat beyond their small guns to scare the tellers. A simple flick of my hand and their guns are thrown across the room where Cyborg gets a hold of them and place them in a compartment of his bionic body.

They try their luck against Robin in hand combat but they don't stand a chance and the boy wonder don't even break a sweat.

Beast Boy comes next to me and asks "Are you ok Rae? You seem tense"

His voice sounds concerned and deep, deep down, in the recesses of my mind, the trace of a smile gets drawn. But instead I only say "I'm fine" and glide away.

Fifteen minutes later, the police arrives to arrest the bunch. And they let us be with nothing more than a "Great job Titans" before they leave.

It seems that tonight, any meta humans, sociopaths and assassins are keeping themselves out of trouble. Even Robin seems disappointed and with nothing more to do, he says "Lets head back home, we'll get some pizza and perhaps a movie, what do you guys think?"

There is a thunderous "BOOYAH!" from Cyborg while sharing a high five with Beast Boy. Starfire smiles sweetly at Robin for this might be one of those rare times she gets to spend time with him in a friendly environment and not a debriefing meeting with the team or the police.

However now they turn to me in an attempt to get me as excited as they are. I simply say "Fine" but meet no ones eyes and as I turn away I said "I'll meet you there" but, as I'm about to disappear thru a portal on the wall, Beast Boy asks "Where are you going?"

I can tell he tries not to be nosy in my affairs. But Its not just curiosity but perhaps concern as well and without looking I say "I have some errands to run" and leave without another word.

…

…

I appeared in an alley, just outside of a neighborhood. I like to walk by myself at night on the streets of Jump City. I like to observe the people, their way of living. And this street is the one I visit the most. They're middle class, some on the verge of the very poor, but even though they have no tangible riches, they do have their family…they do have hope.

It started a few months ago. Red X struck again and stole a security key to a chemical facility that experiments with a variety of components. Among them, Xenothium. The life source of his suit.

On the brink of his capture, he disappeared into a basement but as we ran after him, we found workers of the facility, hiding. I could sense their fear. Expectation, doubt, but, as I scanned the group, the mixture of emotions confused me and distracted me.

However, I was able to sense a ghost of exhilaration among the mess. When Robin saw my hesitation, he asked if everything was ok and if I knew where the thief was.

"No… too many people… but I know he's here, among them" I saw his face change. From concern to surprise then determination. But the moment he stepped towards the people, we heard an explosion and the rumble knocked down a wall adjacent to a vault and there, among the rubble was the criminal, with a bundle in his left hand and giving us a mocking salute with the other one before disappearing.

Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy run towards the disaster area in the vain attempt to catch Red X while Starfire and I stayed behind and guide the group of people away from the smoke and dust. Ambulances and fire trucks had already arrived when we came out.

After a head count that another employee performed, Starfire and I went back inside to help the guys.

As I walk along the front yards I look around and see thru the windows. I stop at the corner, they're having dinner, saying a prayer before eating, holding hands, with their heads bent and eyes close. Their little girl saw me once a couple of years ago. I had heard the parents arguments, I could sense the anger, the pain but most of all, fear. A fear so pure it could only be from a child. I ventured in, the adults are in their room. Down the hall there are two more rooms and the fear is now accompanied by silent whimpers.

I knocked softly on the door but I hear small feet rushing about and a struggle to get on the bed and a small light night came on. I phased thru the door. I can hear the parents.. They're still arguing.

I looked around the room and it's a girl's room. Stuffed animals, a two story doll house a rug in the middle and a small desk. The child could not be older than four or five.

"Are you my guardian angel?" she whispered. I didn't answer. If I say no she might get scared, if I say the truth, she'll definitely be scared but I cannot lie. So instead, I say nothing and let her make her own assumptions.

"I think you are" she answered herself when I didn't, but then, a loud noise was heard two doors down. The parents are now throwing things at each other and come out of their room, arguing up a storm along the hallway. The child gets scared and pulled the cover over her head. I can sense the parents, they have no intention of going in the girl's room, but their shouts and bad words just made me angrier. I heard another door slam and heard their muffled voices.

"Please don't hurt them" said the child. I'm confused but as I looked her way, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror above her dresser. They're glowing white under the hood of my cloak. I could sense the little girl's fear of me now but with a speck of courage.

"They're not bad, they're just worried. Daddy lost his job today and mommy said I was going to be a big sister in a few months" she was sitting on her bed now. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and as I opened them again, I made sure they were no longer glowing, but another loud noise was heard. Glass. Perhaps a broken vase.

"Please make it stop" she said as she pulled the covers back over her head. Without a word I fell in a portal below my feet and reappeared in a dark corner of the room where the parents were arguing. Its intense, words and things thrown without care.

The mother is shedding angry tears, the father's face is red and sweaty. At some point, another vase is thrown and hit's a picture frame on the wall. The picture in it is of the little girl blowing off candles of a cake that had a number three drawn with flowers and lady bugs. In the background, the frozen image of her parents clapping, with happy faces and big smiles.

With my powers I levitated the picture, repaired the glass and placed it back on the wall. And a vision of a blurred image of the little girl for them to see. They fell silent, wide eyes and scared. But they saw what I wanted them to see and the mother gasped and the father was pale but for a moment, they looked at each other and all anger was gone, now, with an expression of concern they whispered the little girl's name and hand in hand run out of the room.

They entered the girl's room and found her sniffing, drying out tears. They hugged her and asked her if she was alright.

She said "I asked my guardian angel for you to stop fighting and it worked. She came because I was afraid you were going to hurt each other or my baby brother or sister"

The parents looked at each other and were about to say something when the girl said "Its ok, I can help to take care of the baby, you don't have to pay for a babysitter mommy and daddy, I can give you my piggy bank so you can pay the rent, just… don't fight anymore, please?"

They hugged her once more. Now, it is said that little kids can sense the supernatural and that day I think that was proven true because, I was watching them from outside the window, enveloped in the darkness of the night and my cloak. My eyes were no longer glowing and the hood was over my head and yet. Without looking around, without hesitating. The little girl turned my way and whispered a thank you while she was hugging her parents. I gave her a nod out of reflex but when the parents had asked who had she been talking to, they even came to the window and never saw me as she had done.

I left satisfied that I had helped a family to heal.

…

…

There are things I do that none of my friends know about and one of them is to study people's behavior, things they do or say that allows them to co exist, to share… to feel. Which has compelled me to ask myself _why cant I _. A simple thing people takes for granted is the one thing I cannot allow myself to do. Why? Because If I let my emotions run amok then so will my powers destroying everything and anything in their path.

No, impossible to allow that. Instead, I experience thru others.

Like today, a group of teenagers sat at the benches, hanging out after school. It was cloudy, was going to rain soon but the kids seemed not to care. I was hiding in the shadows.

There were three boys to the right, talking animatedly, laughing at each other's jokes. I can sense their care free spirit. They laugh just for the heck of it. Again … why cant I.

Another girl sits by herself with tiny earphones plugged in her ears, following the beat of whatever she's listening to with her foot and slight shake of her head. She's content.

Across from me however, from the same group, a young couple sat a few feet away from the rest. Odd couple if you ask me. Although she was no raging beauty, she had blossomed early enough. Soft curves that her clothing accentuated in a tasteful way. She had a shy smile and her eyes were always down. Sometimes looking at her phone, others just, in embarrassment.

Her companion was a different story, a late bloomer. Scrawny with curly hair. I smiled with curiosity at the sight and my hiding spot allowed me to observe freely. He had a nervous smile and upon sitting, he had placed one arm across her back, his hand resting on her right shoulder. She was still looking away.

At some point he drummed his fingers lazily on her shoulder to get her attention and every sideway glance she gave him made him hunch over further in his sit. But he looked at her longingly and I could feel his nerves out of control but he betrayed nothing other than a smile. Finally he moved closer and whispered something in her ear that made her blush but whispered something back at him. They both blushed and smiled at each other, both painfully shy.

The boy reminded me of someone else. His nervous smile and longing eyes, but this boy was obviously head over heels for that girl, no need to be an empath to figure that out. Beast Boy looks like that all the time, even more so when the pretty girls go up to him to say hi so no. that cannot be it.

I brought my attention back to the young couple. She was back to ignoring him again and for some reason that made me upset. There he was, a guy that Starfire would've called sweet, showing her in his own awkward way how he felt and she was just ignoring him.

I opened my empathic powers and I could sense his longing and it was twice as strong, I focused on her and now I can understand. She's not ignoring him just to be mean, she was embarrassed beyond control but excited at the same time.

Some of my powers are simple in a way. Being an empath I cant help but to sense everyone else's emotions in raging waves but, a lifetime of meditation has allowed me "tune out" those emotions. I can still sense them, sometimes, even discern what they are exactly but in a distant way. More analytical. But, allowing that ability to expand is the one thing I rarely do. When I let it happen I'm overwhelmed by the waves of emotions emanating from everyone around me. I did it once at the tower. Never again. The over enthusiasm of some of my friends was only bearable for a few seconds. Specially because they were focused on me.

The park however was almost empty. The teenagers are not aware of my presence so I'm able to focus on the couple in front of me. But a sudden wave of a familiar emotional signature startled me for a split second, as if calling my name and I turned in its direction but, just as fast, it was gone. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of jumping out of my hiding place in front of the kids. The girl had jumped on her boyfriend's lap. All shyness gone. Her breast were close to his face and despite my sudden presence, he had noticed and had an expression of contentment. I disappeared in a portal at my feet only a few seconds later without a word.

…

…

Raven was at the tower, set on finding her stalker but as she entered the common room, there seems to be nothing out of the ordinary other than Starfire and Robin chatting away closer than usual. Not touching but almost. Starfire gives her a smile and Robin waved at her before resuming their conversation.

Cyborg is in the kitchen with… is that an apron? Over six feet tall and well over three hundred pounds of muscle and machinery combined, literally a well oiled fighting machine, is all the way up to his elbows covered in flour and smudges of other ingredients. Usually he's cleaner than that but, the mess only means one thing… a cake will be in the near future or a new concoction to which the rest of the team will be expected to taste regardless of what it looks like.

But really there was nothing to be worried about. Cyborg is a great cook and bakes magnificently. He watches a lot of those cooking shows on TV. His favorite being of pastries, cakes and the like. His memory bank allows him to remember every detail and come up with an exact replica of the one on the shows. He waves at her, dripping whisk in hand before getting back to his task.

Beast Boy on the other hand, was as usual, playing a video game. His emotions attuned to the dare devil actions of his character. He spared a quick glance at her before avoiding a truck.

"Hey Rae, done with your errands already?" his expression betrays no embarrassment or guilt.

"Somewhat" Raven said and sat at the other end of the sofa, observing him. Another sideway glance from him and half a smile makes her aware that she was plain out staring. _Thank Azar for the hood still over my head_, she thought for its shadows hid a blush that surely is as deep as she thinks it is.

"Wanna play? Its fun" he asked without looking away from the screen, almost distracted.

"You know I don't play video games. Its pointless to run around, driving in circles" said Raven in her usual monotone

"But you can do a lot more on this one. You get to fly helicopters, jump from buildings in parachutes, take any car you want and customize others however you want. You get to tackle people just for the heck of it and get any guns you want… its pretty cool!" he said in a single breath.

"Take… any car?"

"Ok, so you steal it. That's why its called Grand Theft Auto" he said without looking my way and then another dramatic twist of his body, as if that would make the character move any faster, he finishes the current stage.

"Whoo hoo! Go Beast Boy, go Beast Boy…" he sang and danced with excitement. With no comprehension of such display over a useless device, Raven got up and silently glided towards the door but Beast Boy said "Hey Rae, where you going? The pizza is almost here and we were waiting on you to start the movie"

With a hidden sigh she turned and said "How much longer for the pizza to get here?"

"Maybe fifteen more minutes"

"Then I'll be here in twenty, I need a shower" she told him and left.

Beast Boy waited a few seconds before walking to the doors to make sure she was actually gone then went back to the others who were waiting anxiously.

_Thirty minutes ago_

Beast Boy was watching Raven from afar. _What's she looking for?_ he thought. He could see her hiding in front of a group of kids. They were doing nothing other than hanging out. He was perched on a branch a few feet away as a caterpillar. No way she could suspect since some of the real caterpillars were green anyway.

He watched with curiosity, and just like the other times, she seemed entirely focused on something that to him was irrelevant. Although he had been impressed when she had used her powers to stop that little girl's parents from fighting a few weeks ago. However, she never used them again, she just… observed with endless patience.

Something about the young couple got her attention so he decided to observe them as well. _C'mon kid, she's right there._ He thought to himself, he was even rooting for the boy when the girl whispered back in his ear. He could tell their relationship was days old. Both too shy to even look at each other in the eyes.

When the girl looked away, she seemed embarrassed and her companion looked a bit hurt. _Don't worry kid, you won half the battle. She's right there with you, she'll come around soon enough… she's not like Raven kid, Raven would have sent me flying across the field if I sat that close and try to put my arm around her like that. _

As soon as his last thought had gone thru before he could stop it, Raven gasped and literally jumped back out of her hiding spot, looking straight in his direction. He was petrified. didn't expect her to even be able to sense his presence being that small. But to his relief, she wasn't looking at him exactly, just in his direction. Somehow she had been able to sense his presence.

He looked over at the couple, the girl had given a small shriek and was now sitting on the guy's lap. When Raven left, the girl simply grabbed her boyfriend's face and kissed him. For a split second he smile to himself but then to his chagrin, remembered the empath had already left. So he turned into a bird and flew as fast as his wings allowed him.

He went inside thru a window in the common room. Cyborg was playing a video game, Starfire was at the kitchen preparing who knows what and Robin was at the table, reading a newspaper and sipping on his coffee.

"Quickly guys, Raven is coming, pretend I've been here the entire time" he spoke in hushed but hurried voice.

"Did she see you?" asked Robin, already weary of his teammate. He had warned him many times that spying on Raven would be dangerous.

Cyborg didn't even have a chance to pause his game when Beast Boy came and with extraordinary strength, pulled the tin man off his sit, pushed him to the kitchen and snatched the apron Star was wearing, grabbed a bag of flour and dumped it over whatever Star had been trying to prepare and then turned to Star, who had a confused and hurt expression for having her cooking ruined but smiled immediately when she was caught by Robin who couldn't help but to blush at the close proximity of the alien.

Beast Boy pushed them both to the end of the table and then run to the sofa and resume the game Cyborg had been playing.

"B, what am I supposed to do with this?" in almost angry whisper.

"Just… stir. Shhh, she's coming!" said Beast Boy and started to play and pretend that the sweat on his forehead was from hours of struggle with the controller.

Cyborg heard the doors hiss open and in a second of panic, he immersed his arms up to his elbows in the powdery, gooey concoction just in time right before Raven stepped in.

_Present _

"You're cutting it close B, she almost caught you this time" said Cyborg attempting to clean some of the mess he had in front of him.

"Beast Boy, what happened?" asked Robin getting off the chair and followed closely by the alien.

"I don't know, she was watching a couple of kids then was like she knew I was there"

"Look Beast Boy, I know you 're concerned and want to help but what you're doing is risky. She can have a bad temper" said Robin.

"Not mentioning you're not her favorite person, after pestering her with all the lame jokes you make" said Cyborg, finally free of sticky flour on his arms and taking off the apron.

"Friend Beast Boy, have you tried to speak to her instead? I'm afraid she wont be too pleased you are doing the spying on her"

"Look guys, maybe you're right and she'll send me to another dimension when she finds out, but I rather make an attempt at helping her with whatever she's going thru than watch her hide under her hood in her room, depressed all the time because we're too afraid to ask her what's going on… guys, just… cover for me a little bit longer, I'll find out soon enough"

"What if…"

But Robin was interrupted when the doors opened again and Raven walked in with a fresh clean uniform and semi damp hair.

…

…


	2. Chapter 2

_**(peeks around the corner) :) ** Hi everyone. So, i know i had left this story pending, i'm very sorry or the long wait but i promise you i'll be able to update it sooner. It may bounce in highs and lows but its just the mood of our favorite empath that drives the plot. Please, let me know what you think and have some faith. _

_Thank you in advance for reading._

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><p><strong>Chapter 2. Why cant i?<strong>

I feel empty, unsatisfied. Unable to find something to fill the void that's been eating me. Nothing helps, no company or a reason to be, I just feel numb. In other times, that feeling would have been an accomplishment because that only meant that my emotions are under control and my powers are not a danger to anyone but, it's starting to take its toll on me and somehow, emotions are sipping through the barriers and letting me feel things I am entirely unfamiliar with.

Like the other day, a few weeks ago, I came back from one of my outings late at night. I had gone to a different neighborhood this time. The house of a young couple, parents of twin girls. Everything was in double amounts, and almost everything was pink but what caught my eye was a picture of the couple on the front of a scrapbook in progress that was left on the dining table and an inscription right next to it. It said :

" _James and Rachel started dating in 2006. _

_In 2012 they found out they were expecting._

_At ten weeks pregnant, they found out they were two._

_And at week sixteen, they found out they were girls" _

It was innocent and simple enough, and the picture of the two of them in their younger years. Perhaps my age, but the way they were embraced, so familiar, so trusting and carefree. Their sincere smile and the look in their eyes, it was so compelling that it made me wonder, why can't I?

I felt as if a cold, dark claw enveloped my heart and left it empty and a longing out of nowhere that almost scared me. I immediately closed the book and left through a portal that led me outside the house. I started to breathe in deeply as if trying to calm the tears that had threatened to spill without much warning. The cool midnight breeze helped me calm down somewhat, but as I started to regain some composure, I sensed someone nearby, someone's eyes were on me but after a thorough search, there was no one, and so, I took to the skies and flew my way back to the tower.

But I wasn't as composed as I had thought. Once I landed on the roof, I used a portal to teleport myself inside as the security system was already activated. Cyborg however, had adjusted it to my body signature so I could get in and out at any time using my powers without waking everyone else up. It was a great sign of trust and for that, I was grateful.

I teleported directly into the kitchen where the faint light above the sink shone weakly. I started to get the kettle to prepare myself some tea as I needed to calm myself further, but, I heard muffled voices in the common room and a faint melody. I walked around the corner and found the big TV screen showing the credits but what I saw, didn't set quite right.

I found Starfire, sitting on the couch while watching a movie, or the end of it as the credits started to roll in but what really caught my attention was that the alien was stroking someone's hair. Suddenly, the screen turned brighter and I saw the subject of Stafire's caresses. It was Beast Boy, with his head on her lap and a content smile while he watched the screen.

The whistling of the tea kettle broke the silence and Starfire was the first one to acknowledge me.

"Hello friend Raven, would you like to watch another movie with us?" Starfire sounded sincere enough but that made me feel the more perturbed.

"No" I said simply, almost being rude and turn around towards the door.

"Hey Rae, what about your tea?" asked Beast Boy lifting his head over the back of the sofa. I looked over my shoulder and with a flick and gesture of my hand, turned off the stove and returned the items back into the cupboard before I answered him. "Lost my appetite" and left thru the sliding doors.

That night, I spent it meditating longer than usual.

…

Beast Boy once again, had followed the empath on her routine patrol but after a couple of hours, she had veered away from her way back home and followed her into a different neighborhood.

This time, he transformed into a spider and sneaked thru the slightly open window in the kitchen. When he got to the living room, he froze as he had come out into the living room where Raven was but, she was so engrossed with a scrapbook on the dining table to notice him.

Beast Boy looked around and thru his spider eyes, the mess around them was even worse.

"_Looks like a battlefield and apparently the toys and clothes, won_" he thought to himself but then noticed that a few things around them started to levitate in dark energy, and that, only meant one thing… Raven was upset.

Only but a moment later did she go thru a portal and the things that were floating fell back to the ground. He wasn't sure if she even noticed. Once Raven was gone, Beast Boy decided to take a peek at what might have upset her but he only had a chance to quickly glance at the picture of the young couple on the front before he heard the door unlock followed by giggles and laughs as the young family had returned.

He run back to the kitchen and got out the same way he came in, only perch himself on the nearby roof and notice that Raven was still out there, looking for something, so, before she discovered him, he took off.

When he arrived at the tower, Starfire and Robin were watching a movie. He plopped down on the other end of the crescent shaped sofa and leaned his head back, tired of the night's events.

"Everything ok Beast Boy?" Robin asked as he got up and took the popcorn dish to the sink and came back but stood behind the side of the sofa where Starfire was sitting.

"I don't know dude"

"Well, I hope you figure it out soon, I don't know how much longer can we keep covering for you before Raven finds out and I'm not sure what she'll do to you once that happens... or us"

With that, Robin walked out, quietly mumbling he was going to the bathroom, leaving Beast Boy to think about his predicament but the green young man simply couldn't shake her expression. Something had upset her and he didn't know what.

Starfire, who had remained in her spot on the sofa, was looking at him with innocent eyes "May I be of some assistance, friend Beast Boy?"

Her words snapped him out of his thoughtful state and sighed deeply before answering.

"As much as I try, I can't figure out for the life of me what is Raven, looking for. The places she visits have no pattern or rhythm and she keeps getting upset and depressed and I don't know what to do" Beast Boy said as he paced from one end of the sofa to the other in front of the alien, who watched and waited patiently for him to finish. Finally, he stopped pacing and stood with his hands on his hips for a moment before sitting down again and leaned on his knees with his elbows, clasped his hands together and looked down.

Starfire placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention and motioned for him to lay his head on a cushion against her leg. He didn't give it a second thought and laid his head down, looking at nothing in particular.

"If it upsets you so, perhaps it is time to ask her directly instead of doing the spying on friend Raven"

"I wish it was that easy, Star. I really do" he said above a whisper and simply settled on looking at the TV catching the ending images of the movie. Starfire started to run her finger gently thru his hair when a movement caught her eye. Raven was at the door. She had removed the hood from her head and had a blank expression until she caught sight of them.

A glance to the alien's eyes before quickly glancing at her hands said it all. Starfire removed her hand from Beast Boy's head as she saw the faint glare aimed her way before Raven drew the hood over her head again and that's when the kettle whistled.

As Raven left the common room with an icy cold deameanor, Starfire gently pushed Beast Boy off her lap and shifted uncomfortably in her spot.

"Star, what's wrong?" asked Beast Boy confused while running his finger thru his hair and rubbing the sleep off his eyes. Stafire however, looked down and didn't meet his eyes.

"I think we hurt her feelings" she answered quietly and Beast Boy frowned.

"Hurt her feelings? How? We weren't doing anything wrong"

But his words fell on deaf ears as the alien was already on her feet, ready to take off.

"Star, where are you going?" he said as he caught her hand before she started to levitate.

"I must apologize to friend Raven, she has misunderstood everything"

"Star, what are you talking about? I don't…"

"Please Beast Boy, did you not see her expression, she was… disappointed, hurt. You said so yourself, she's been depressed and lost."

"Yes, I know I said that but that doesn't mean…"

"Enough, friend Beast Boy, you should be ashamed of yourself as I am. If you must hide the fact that you care enough for her to spy on her then I beg you not to use me any longer. I will keep your secret but I will not aid you in hurting her further" and with that, she snatched her hand from his grip and flew out of the common room, leaving Beast Boy confused.

"What did I do now?" he asked himself as he scratched his head.

…

…

_After that little incident, I locked myself in my room and paced like a madwoman. I was angry for no reason… well, I was upset since earlier but what I saw simply drove me over the edge. Not sure why really. Star is very friendly and has gone from sweet smiles to hugging everyone, especially Beast Boy since he's the youngest, but the gesture of her fingers running thru his hair seemed different this time. _

_Star came to my room a few minutes later to apologize but I refused to see her or anyone else for that matter. For some reason, my powers have been getting out of my control and that's not good. I didn't want to lose control again when she was nearby._

_Tomorrow I'll get out. Tomorrow I'll apologize to Star and everyone else. In the meantime, I'll…_

Suddenly, the alarms started to blare and the yellow and red lights casted their glow throughout the odd shape building, signaling a stress call.

"Great" said Raven in her deep monotone, while narrowing her eyes before phasing thru the ground on a portal.

When everyone gathered in the common room to find out who the culprit was of the latest assault, Robin said a simple name before yelling "Titans, Go!"


	3. Chapter 3 Blurred

**Well, hello again. incredible, another chapter in 24 hours? Man, even i am surprised. So, here we are with Raven attempting something else to help her in her predicament.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3. Blurred. <strong>

The next evening, a young woman stumbled on the street as she tried to walk straight on the sidewalk of a quiet neighborhood. She giggled every time a tiny little hiccup noise escaped her before moving forward again. Yes, she was drunk. Drunk and alone but she was ok with that. In fact, she was happy. Happier than what she's ever been. Of course, I her somewhat delirious state, at some point she reasoned she should have paid attention where she was going but decided that she didn't care.

"I can take care of myself… *hiccup* … good care of myself… no need to... be concerned about it…*hiccup*…" she giggled again, then stopped at an intersection. The streets were empty, the light the lamps casted along the street, gave the impression of a certain, quiet glow that made it look all the more peaceful. Of course, in her current state, it was simply a blurred sight and the girl leaned in precariously over the curve to look at either side of the street, even though there were no moving vehicles for miles.

Finally, she ventured a foot con the pavement, then the other, followed by a giggle after each step. She reached the park across the street and sat on a bench nearby, leaned her head back and sighed in pure contentment. Unbeknownst to her that she was being observed from two different spots.

From the top of the roof of one of the houses from across the street, was a thief. But not an ordinary thief but the famously elusive Red X just happen to be in the neighborhood, in search of something valuable to steal that laid within one of the fine houses that surrounded him when he caught sight of a dim light before he noticed the drunken woman and immediately lost interest in his original purpose when he realized who it was.

He teleported over a branch, just above the bench. He froze the moment she looked up in his direction but she just giggled and got up. Red X was about to teleport away again when she started to skip before attempting to perform a cartwheel. But, being so under the influence, the moment she leaned forward, was the moment she stumbled and fell. She rolled a couple of times on the grass before stopping. The thief watched wide eyed how she hysterically laughed at herself while being on her back.

It wasn't until another movement caught his eye that he recovered from his amusement. A few yards away was another thief. A homeless guy by the looks of it, that was approaching with knife in hand, very slowly, to the drunken girl.

Red X wasn't worried, in fact, why should he? She was very capable of taking care of herself and surely by now, she would know she wasn't alone, but as he watched how she couldn't even get back on her feet and how close the armed thief was getting to her, Red X started to feel anxious. So much so, that he didn't wait for the man to take another step forward and he teleported in front of the man, making him stumble back and fall on his behind with a gasp.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you" Red X said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"What do you care, or what? You're gonna tell me you saw her first? C'mon, I know who you are and you're not a petty thief, you always go for the most expensive stuff" said the man as he struggled to get to his feet.

"That may be true but trust me buddy, this one is the wrong chick to mug"

The guy in front of Red X was older, slightly shorter and with a beard. He leaned forward to peak around the masked thief's shoulder then smiled as he nodded towards the girl.

"Ha!, look at her, she can even get off the ground, that's how drunk she is. Look, I only want the two pretty rings she's got on her fingers and I'll be on my way. She wont even feel a thing. C'mon buddy, from one thief to another, what do you say?"

The man made the attempt to walk past Red X when suddenly, a dim light shone again and this time, the man froze the moment he realized who it was.

"She's… she's a Titan… t-the witch…" he said as he back away, he stumbled back once again and was dragging himself backwards when he saw her stand, her eyes were glowing red and a laugh so sinister that even Red X felt goose bumps rise on his skin, but then, she hiccupped once again and immediately the red eyes were gone and she started to giggle in amusement before walking his way.

Red X turned to look at the man on the ground but discovered him gone.

"Hey X, what's up?" said a cheery Raven.

" Hey beautiful, are you ok?" this made Raven giggle for a moment.

"I'm not beautiful, I'm Happy"

"I'm glad you're happy, but mind telling me what's going on with you?" he said cautiously as she walked around him while swirling on the ball of her foot. She stopped when she tripped on her own feet but he was quick to grab her. It was almost insane the way she started to giggle.

"What's so funny beautiful?"

"Did you see his face when he saw me coming? Ha, Ha his face was priceless."

"So you did see him coming?"

"Of course I did silly, I'm drunk not blind" and as if on cue she hiccupped again and giggled afterwards.

"I noticed that, so… why are you drunk again? I didn't think chuckles would allow any of you to drink alcohol, let alone let you walk alone drunk at this hour"

"Chuckles… hahaha, good one" Raven said before walking a few steps away. She hiccupped once more and giggled again. Red X chuckled. This was a very amusing side of the dark empath he never imagined.

"Its an exp…*hiccup* exp…*hiccup*…" she started laughing again.

"Experiment?" Red X offered.

"Yes, that" she said before motioning for him to walk with her. He was hesitant at first and even looked around them to make sure he wasn't falling into a trap, but the fact that she couldn't even walk straight told him she was all alone.

"So why are you experimenting with alcohol? I would have thought that you, of all people, would be above that nasty habit"

They got to an intersection and suddenly she stopped him. "Wait!" she said.

"Wait for what?"

Then she nodded to the sign in front of him. "The sign says "stop" *hiccup*" then she started to laugh again. He shook his head in amusement and couldn't help but smile. This was a side of Raven he definitely never expected.

As they started to walk again, he kept glancing around, he was sure they were being followed but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing except a drunk empath, who happen to be twirling and giggling as she attempted to walk straight.

"Hey beautiful, you didn't answer me. Why were you experimenting with alcohol? Was it just to taste it?"

"Ha ha, no silly, only humans fall for that. In Raven's case, is like… freedom"

"Freedom?"

"Yes, We're soooo drunk, our head isn't straight, which means, Raven doesn't have to concentrate as hard to keep her emotions in check. Everything is there … just… like out of focus"

"We?... mind elaborate on that?" this made her laugh again.

"Well, I told you I'm Happy, you saw Red earlier or Rage and a bunch more"

Red X stopped for a moment, scratching his head. He was confused and the more she talked, the less sense she made.

"ok _Happy_, lets pretend I understood what you just said, it doesn't explain why are you out here, alone with no control on your powers… because this is what is all about right? Controlling your powers better?"

Happy smirked. "Yes! That's correct and now we can understand how Starfire's powers function."

"Raven, you lost me"

"Well, she summons her starbolts with righteous fury and flies because of the imminent thrill and happiness that flying gives her but with Raven's powers is the opposite so now, being able to not concentrate all the time in keeping her powers in check and just… enjoy, *hiccup*… its great"

"… ok… so, with no powers and drunk … why are you out here alone?"

"oh, because I tried to use Raven's portal to teleport us to the roof of the tower but *hiccup* something went wrong and *hiccup* we ended up here… and I don't know where "here" is"

"hmmm, I see. So, your friends don't know you're out here?"

" Nope"

"how many times have you tried this… experiment of yours?"

"This is the third time but the very first time this drunk… *hiccup*"

"great" he thought.,

"Hey X, look what I can do…*hiccup*" then another dim glow shined and a brunette stood next to him, then a blond, then a red head with curly hair. Again he watched amused and finally noticed the two rings the other thief had mentioned earlier. Before each change, she pressed her fists together until the rings touched, but every time, a dim light shone and the house they were walking by, suddenly turned on the lights.

Quickly, Red X grabbed both her hands to stop them from creating the hologram again and teleported both of them away from there. Fortunately, they weren't that far from the shores on the island where the Titans tower was

"ooohh, that was so cool. We've never teleported without having to use our powers"

"Ok, Raven, this is as far as I dare go without your friends coming out and think the worse, not only because I'm the one with you but because you're drunk. Drink a couple of aspirins and a full glass of water before you go to sleep because tomorrow will be hell to pay for this little happy-go-round experiment. Just, don't tell them who brought you back"

"Wasn't gonna. Besides, Raven probably wont remember a thing…*hiccup*thanks X"

"No problem beautiful" he was about to press the button on his belt when suddenly she said "Hey X, by the way, Red wants to tell you something…"

And before he had a chance to react, Red X was enveloped in her dark energy, all except for his head and the Raven in front of him smiled mischievously while her eyes glowed red and tendrils of her magic snaked from beneath her cloak in all directions, aiming at his head and her face was only inches away when the dark tentacles started to pull off his mask. His eyes were wide open in surprise and anxiety.

"Raven, please don't" she smiled an unsettling smile when she heard his plea. The tentacles stopped pulling the mask just above his nose.

"I think it is only fair. You know a secret of mine, now, I must know a secret of yours"

"Go ahead, you might like what you see" he said with a smile of his own but she only growled.

"Not a word about any of this to anyone. Don't even dare think of blackmailing Raven or expect to be treated differently if we're forced to arrest you. This was a one time thing and if we find out you opened your mouth… there will be real hell for you in the near future… got it?"

She didn't wait for his answer and simply let him fall as he had been lifted a few feet off the ground by her magic. He pulled the mask back down and dusted himself off and watched her fly across the water and disappeared in the darkness.

"Damn" was the last thing he said before he too disappeared away.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hello everyone. the last chapter for this short story has arrived. A very short story, i know but i made this chapter extra long i hope you enjoy it. The very end of it is Raven's final point of view. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4. Truths.<strong>

Consciousness, the awareness realm of the mind can bring frustration and even pain, whether physical or otherwise when fully alert regardless of any stage of sobriety. Which brings me to my recent discovery a few hours ago and a realization of facts, for example, that unconsciousness can sometimes be a blessing, having no memory or even not be aware of what's going on sometimes is preferable than the cruel reality.

The moment my mind entered the awareness realm upon waking up, was something I regretted entirely as a pounding headache made itself known and I couldn't help but grunt the moment my eyes opened and were met with the brightness of the light sipping thru the curtains, casting a dim sun rays that at that moment, might have been a laser pointed at me.

I shied away from it and slowly turned the other way and thru squinted eyes I realized I was in my room which brought a slight sigh of relief, but what worried me was my current state. A dangerous feeling of vulnerability that, I had never experienced.

I had managed to prop myself on my elbows before I had to shut my eyes tight as another wave of pain accompanied by a spell of nausea made me reconsider that in fact it was better to stay down.

A few minutes had passed before I realized that I had little to no recollection of the night before but it hurt to even think and reprimanded myself wholeheartedly for my decision.

In my desperate attempt to seek relief from the strain that comes from trying to suppress my emotions enough to control my powers, I decided to cast a spell on myself. One that, in theory, would give me certain freedom while my mind was in a fog and limited to the confines of my room gave me certain peace of mind but… as I edged closer to my night stand, I found a glass of water, two aspirins and a note written in a gibberish that was hardly a language.

After taking the aspirins and finding the right spell to get myself back in a normal shape, I looked closely at my surroundings and the first thing I noticed were the holorings that Cyborg had given me after his mission in the HIVE, still on my fingers. My cloak was dirty and had grass and mud stains on it and that only meant one thing, I had gone out of my room after all.

Was I so far gone that one of my inner aspects was able to take over my body and run amok? If that was the case then this experiment resulted to be more dangerous than what I anticipated. I need to find another way. For now, I can only hope no damage was done. Tea… some tea would be helpful right about now.

…

…

Beast Boy was pacing like a madman. Something was extra wrong with Raven now and he didn't know what. Last night he had been on the roof, taking in the cool evening breeze and enjoying the soft light the full moon offered when suddenly, he heard the familiar humming of Raven's powers nearby. However, when he turned in its direction, what he saw perturbed him beyond reason.

The portal opened on the other corner of the roof and saw the empath walk out but when he was about to say something, he heard her mumbling to herself before a sinister laugh broke the silence which was stopped abruptly by a hiccup.

He dared not move and tried to observe her closely while she tried to walk straight.

"Rage shall consume you" she said in that other worldly voice and for a moment Beast Boy thought she had seen him until she started to talk to herself.

"Don't even…*hiccup* dare Red. Raven is…*hiccup*… trying to trust us…*hiccup* and herself . Do not ruin it… *hiccup* we'll do this my way… *hiccup* " her words came out slurred and the constant hiccup only meant one thing, she was drunk.

But before he could make a move, she tripped on her cloak but instead of falling on the solid ground, she fell thru a portal, living him more worried than before.

For a moment he looked around the roof hoping she would appear again but soon abandoned the idea and run as fast as he could towards her room and when he got no answer, he walked in, only to find it empty.

His heart sank, there was no telling what havoc a drunken empath with no control over her powers could do. He had to find her… but where? He run down the hallway towards the nearest window and turned into an owl before jumping into the night.

It took him almost all night to find her but when he did, not only was she not alone, but the company wasn't any better than her being drunk. Beast Boy was still too high up in the air but caught sight of the dim glow the holorings were giving away every time she changed appearance.

And as if all that wasn't enough, he saw the thief take her hands and they disappeared together. His blood boiled, his heart rate accelerated and for a moment he thought the Beast would take over the moment he landed.

He was tired, frustrated and angry. Not only with himself for being such coward but with her for being so stubborn. How could she accept the company of that criminal when he has been more than willing to help her, if she only let him.

All this went thru his head as he landed across the street where Raven had been. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down before taking off again. It wasn't too long before he reached the shore facing the tower when he saw Raven lifting the thief with her powers. He could not make out the words but he did caught sight of the glowing red eyes under the hood.

He couldn't help but feel a little relieved. She didn't trust the thief after all, but that didn't make the anger to go away completely. When she finally let the thief go, he followed her at a safe distance until she reached her room and went thru the window. He perched himself just outside her window, still in his owl form to make sure she was safe before he left to his own room.

He couldn't sleep after that. And now, hours later, he was still feeling tired, frustrated and angry. What was she thinking?

Out of frustration he went down to the common room for something to eat. It was too early for the others to get up and most likely, Raven wouldn't either.

A couple of hours had passed and Robin, Starfire and Cyborg were already there. Cyborg's attempt to make him snap out of his brooding in the corner by the window failed and ceased after the changeling's only respond was a shrug of his shoulders. He was clearly upset and the others looked at each other and could only think of one reason and that reason was just now walking in, in a not so happy mood herself.

Beast Boy had been leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, looking out the window when he heard Raven say "Morning" to no one in particular. He felt his anger rise up again as he pushed himself off the wall and walked towards the kitchen.

"Raven, we need to talk" he blurted out with such authority that left the others perplexed and anxious about Raven's reaction. Raven on the other hand, kept going and started to prepare her tea. She could sense his anger and his eyes burning the back of her neck as she kept ignoring him. What was wrong with him? What reason could he possibly have to be this mad at her and talk to her in such commanding tone.

"About?" was her only response but she was still facing the stove instead of him.

"Guys, can you please give us a minute"

"B… I don't think…" Cyborg tried to say but he was interrupted by a growl and a glare from the changeling.

"Friend, I think is time for them to have the conversation" said Starfire while placing a hand on Cyborg's arm.

Raven watched her friends leave the room but said nothing and returned her attention to the kettle in front of her. She could sense his anger but try as she might, she could not find a logical reason for him to be this upset, specially with her.

An uncomfortable silence remained for a short while, filled with tension that was less than bearable, until Beast Boy broke it.

"You. We need to talk about you" he said and his angry tone left no room for games. This was by all means, unprecedented but as curious as she was, she was more annoyed by his approach.

She took no orders from anyone outside the hero field so she decided to take her time before she acknowledged him with a stern "hmm" still with her back to him but that only enraged the changeling more and decided he was not having any of it and against better judgment, he closed the distance between them and to her surprise, he grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around to face him.

For a moment her eyes locked on his and the rage she saw, not mentioning the rage she sensed emanating from him was overwhelming. His eyes were almost crystal green, the iris was almost invisible and he was breathing heavily as if controlling his anger was taking its toll on him.

But all this lasted but a couple of seconds before she too felt that rage of her own and as she narrowed her eyes, she said in a low, menacing voice that she managed to restrain thru her gritted teeth "What. Do you think… You're doing. Beast Boy?"

She didn't wait for an answer and with quick reflexes, Raven lifted her arms and pushed his away with enough force to make it hurt. He winced inwardly, she was stronger than looked and it hurt but he didn't let it show and he continued his advance.

"NO. What do **you **think you're doing, Raven?"

"You are no one to talk to me that way Beast Boy"

"No one?... wow, this is just… great. Here I am, thinking that after all this years, I could at least call myself your friend but apparently, you don't even think of me that way… do you? Or anyone else for that matter"

"You have no right to…"

"Oh but I do Raven"

"What the hell have I done to you that makes you feel like you have the right to talk to me this way?"

"Oh, so you throwing me out the window, treating me like I'm no one and insult me to your heart's desire, has meant nothing to you?"

"You deserved it because you were being a pest, just like you are being now. Either you have a point for this ridiculous argument or we end this right now before I make you feel…real…pain" she was barely containing herself and Rage was getting the upper hand. He could see it right before her eyes started to glow red but he was determined, this time she was not going to be the one with the last word.

"You're damn right I have a point. What the hell were you thinking last night?" he crossed his arms over his chest and for a moment, he thought he saw one of her eyebrows, twitch. But she was good and didn't show any sign of relentless.

"None of your business"

"Oh, but it is my business. Not only at a personal level, but I also speak for the team" his menacing tone was long enough for only her ears.

"What are you talking about? I don't owe you or anyone any explanations…" but to her surprise, he leaned in closer, with the confident, mocking smile of a predator.

"You might want to reconsider willingly before Robin finds out. How do you think he'll take it when he finds out you were drunk… out in the streets… making a fool of yourself?"

"What? ... How did you…"

"Ah, but that's not all. I bet he'll love to hear the next part and demand explanation"

"What part? Spit it out already" she yelled.

"You, fraternizing with the enemy… You, with that thief… You and Red X" the words were filled with so much venom and disgust that there was no doubt that was the main reason of his anger.

Raven's eyes stopped glowing, instead they were as wide as saucers while a gasp escaped her.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, Raven."

"I'm not…I didn't…" Raven knew she had gone out in her spellbound state but, including that thief in the mix, made it all the more complicated because she still had no memory of anything and regretfully, the headache that woke her up that morning was coming back full force.

Raven started to step away from him only to be stopped by the counter behind her. She was really distraught, he could see that much and deep, deep down, his anger waver.

"You didn't know?" he asked with a more pronounced frown and her answer was a shake of her head as she looked at everything but him.

"How can you not know what you did?"

"It was a… it was a spell. I didn't come out of it until this morning"

"A spell? How can you cast a drunken spell on yourself and have no memory afterwards?... wait… is that what you do every time you go out?"

She gave him a curious look "What are you talking about now?"

"Oh c'mon Raven, lets face it. The places you go, the things you see, even the people you watch… have no rhyme or rhythm, it makes no sense whatsoever… I swear I can't find the link to any of them and I don't know what you're looking for, because that's what it looks like" finally some of his anger had visibly receded and he started to sound more like himself, the whiney boy that couldn't understand beyond a video game themed conversation. Although he felt some relief because he was finally asking out loud the questions that had been burning him, he also realized that he could have left that little detail out of the main argument.

"What? You've been spying on me? For how long?" she asked, dangerously approaching him with renewed anger in her eyes.

He swallowed audibly but never backed away. "Yes, I have, since the very first time"

"Why?" she said almost as a growl.

"Why? Because you left me no choice, you've been brooding and depressed and melancholic for the longest time but don't let anyone close enough to try to help you no matter how much we try… how much I try. So I figured I'd follow you and find out but every time I ended up more confused and what I saw last night was the icing on the cake. You don't let friends in but you allow the company of a criminal? And even let him grab your hands? When have you ever let me get close to you other than right now? Tell me Raven, how can, all this make sense inside your head? Because sure as hell it doesn't outside of it"

"Of course you don't. None of you and no one ever will. **You** don't have to suppress your feelings and emotions other than to not embarrass yourself. **You** don't have to worry about something exploding if you get angry and **you** don't have to literally face your worse fears every time you're afraid."

"You're angry now and nothing has exploded" he tried to sound smug but she smiled maliciously while her eyes glowed red.

"Look around you" he frown at that, he didn't like how she said it but complied. For the first time since he started this argument, he looked away from her eyes. Everything around them was encased in her dark magic, dangerously shaking within.

"Look closely" she said, nodding behind him the moment his eyes returned to hers. When he turned around a second time, he couldn't help but gasp. Everything floating around them was in one way or another, an electronic device.

"The way I see it Beast Boy, for someone who thinks is my friend after all this years, like you so explicitly pointed out earlier, you still have not grasped the basic nature of my powers so let me enlighten you…" she said so chillingly calm that Beast Boy had to repress a shiver, especially when Raven started to walk around him like a predator does to its prey.

"Lets say I was to… let myself…feel… the way any of you do. Look around you, what do you see?"

"Your powers… getting out of control" he said above a whisper and her immediate answer was an unsettling chuckle.

"You haven't seen real out of control yet… no, I'll take that back, of course you have… in small amounts but, what if I was to do something worse than scaring the daylights out of Dr Light, say… getting upset because Cyborg and you are fighting over the food or the controller of your gamestation? Look around you and tell me what do you see"

"Electronic devices"

"Correct. Now, what happens to electronic devices when I'm upset?"

"They explode" he said after he swallowed with some difficulty.

"Exactly. My powers are attracted to fluent energy sources. What do you think would happen to a certain… cybernetic friend if I can't control myself?"

Beast Boy gasped "Cyborg" he breathed with his eyes so wide open, they threatened to come out of his sockets.

"Correct again"

"But you wouldn't…"

"Of course I wouldn't, but I'm not finished." Raven said as she resumed her slow walk around him with a detached and cold demeanor and the air of a scholar giving a complex presentation.

"You see, it wouldn't stop there because next thing would be Starfire. With her alien strength and the deadly starbolts she summons with her "righteous fury". Her strength and lasers would be no match for **my** righteous fury and she would cease to exist before she ever got the chance… to break me"

"Raven…"

"And, what of Robin? You know of the mental link we share, correct? An un breakable bond that links our minds into one. But remember, he's only human, and the moment I sense his intentions of attack, his mind would shatter, I could make him feel an unparallel pain that would break him and eventually… kill him"

"Raven…please stop" he whispered again.

"And you…" she said devoid of any emotion but very distinctive double set of red, glowing eyes that were piercing his very soul.

And thru his mind, memories were recovered and a specific one stood out. One that she had been the reason he had tried to bury within the recesses of his mind. The time she had tapped into the power of black magic and at her will, she had make him shift just to show him how powerful she was, making him feel vulnerable and scared.

She had spoken as if she was a cruel, calculating villain. One who knew how to break him. How to control him. How to… scare him. He painfully realized that he had been nowhere near the definition when he first called her "creepy" all those years ago.

His breathing was shaky and was trying to fight back the unshed tears that were burning his eyes. She was standing in front of him. Not smiling or expecting anything. Just there and he knew it was to let him see for himself what she could do if he wasn't careful, if he didn't stay away. But against all odds and to her astonishment, he closed the gap between them and he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, his face buried in the crook of her neck. He had seen the sadness and even disappointment in her unnatural eyes as if knowing he would run away.

"You are not this, Raven, you are not a monster. I know what you're trying to do but it wont work. I'm here Raven. I'm here with you, here for you. I know you're trying to scare me away but you have to know that I'm not going anywhere. You try to carry this burden on your own and its taking its toll on you. Let me help you, Raven, just… let me in"

He had spoken so softly and sounded so sincere. She knew he was telling the truth but still was afraid but as he lifted his head after he whispered the last few words, he did the unexpected. He kissed her. He kissed her in a way she would have never dreamed of he could. Slow and soft. Not scared but tasting, enjoying and letting her feel him and maybe make her understand he would never hurt her, he would never abandon her.

Raven shyly kissed him back and the moment she did, everything started to fall back in its place and the dark fog that they had not realized surrounded them, slowly faded until the bright sunlight illuminated their surroundings again.

Beast Boy pulled away only to rest his forehead on hers. Her eyes were closed but thankfully, the second set was gone and they both breathed easier. Finally Raven opened her eyes and couldn't help but lift her hand and with the tip of her fingers, she traced his lower lip unbeknownst to her the effect that simple gesture had on him.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I'm sorry about what I said… what I did… I just…"

"Shhh, you don't have to apologize, I understand. Just, promise me we'll never fight like that again. Promise me that if and when something bothers you, you'll tell me and not try to deal with it on your own. You have me Raven, you always have. You only need to say my name, or take my hand or… kiss me anytime you want"

She chuckled at that "You pretend to be that close to me all the time?"

"As close as you let me" he said with a smile and to his surprise, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pecked him on the lips before pulling him into a hug . "This close is good" she whispered in his ear sending shivers down his spine and his response was pulling her closer to him, his arms tightly wrapped around her waist.

"You're right, being this close is good but to me is better than awesome" he said with a smile before pulling her chin and place a soft, lingering kiss on her lips for a brief moment… or until a nearby light bulb exploded. They chuckled at the little incident before walking towards the sofa. They sat very close to each other with Raven leaning her head against his chest and both looked out the big window in a comfortable silence for a while. She was finding his heart beat soothing and he couldn't help but run his fingers thru her soft hair.

After a few minutes however, he broke the silence as there was something that still nagged at his curiosity.

"Raven?" he said in her ear.

"Yes Garfield."

"Can I ask you something, I swear I don't want to fight, I'm just… I'm still curious about something... well, two things to be honest."

"Go ahead, ask" she said after a moment.

"The spell. What was the purpose of it."

Raven sighed in his arms but made no attempt to get up.

"It was meant to keep my mind unfocussed. It takes certain control and a connection between mind and body in order for my powers to present themselves , so, my theory was that if I'm under some kind of influence that can make me lose that connection for a short while, I could actually… feel free, but… I didn't expect it to not work. My emotions took over and that's how I ended up outside."

"So, that last night wasn't you per se"

"Correct. But earlier, when I was… telling you all those awful things, I was able to make a connection with my mind again and finally was able to remember. Rage wanted to get loose but Happy was… stronger and she took over instead. You were right, I did make a fool of myself, I attempted a cartwheel while drunk…"

Beast Boy laughed.

"And before you ask, because I know that'll be your next question, nothing happened with Red X. He actually tried to… protect me from another thief with a knife that wanted to take the holorings but Rage took over for a slight moment and that scared the mugger off."

"But I saw him taking your hands and both disappeared before I had a chance to land"

Now it was Raven's turn to chuckle. "Happy was playing with the holorings and he took us away before we were able to attract anyone's attention but at the shore, Rage took over again but she had some sense and instead she threatened him if he said anything to anyone, even if he tried to blackmail me"

"Really? Was he that scared that you would send him to another dimension?"

"Something better. I now know what he looks like without the mask"

"You what? No way, wait until Robin finds out"

"He will not find out because I am not going to tell him and you wont either. I promised Red X I wouldn't say anything if he promised to not breath a word that he saw me drunk"

"And you think he'll hold his end of that bargain?"

"Yes. He values his freedom more than anything… but I don't want to talk about him anymore"

"What would you like to talk about?" Beast Boy asked with a smile, Raven looked up into his eyes and with a barely there smile and a shaky hand on his cheek she whispered " Nothing, absolutely nothing" and pulled his face down until their lips met and both man and woman, demon and beast, held each other in an embrace of hope and kisses of love.

…

…

_As clichéd as that sounds, it's the truth. Thanks to Garfield, I can now have some kind of peace. I still have to control my powers and can't show as much emotion as I would like but, I have to admit, it feels good. It feels good to finally not feel alone and lonely. He made me realize that, instead of asking myself "Why can't I?" I should be asking myself "Why not?" and why not? Because even though control is a must, I can now enjoy a hug and a kiss without anything exploding, but I wonder… what would happen if we did more… (_microwave explodes) … _oops, better take it slow. Don't you think?_

_The end._


End file.
